After a few cycles of depressive slumps, I decided I need to put a stop to it. So I started a journal and transitioned from a neatly decorated planner to a messy scribble journal. I knew all along that journaling is therapeutic and I’ve been wanting to start a journal for quite awhile but I kept putting it off, letting the depressive slumps constantly get into me.
It’s been slightly more than a month since I started journaling. Although I don’t write in the journal everyday, it has helped me tremendously with my depressiveness. It doesn’t mean I don’t fall into depressive slumps anymore but I get out of the slumps quickly because once I feel that I’m falling into the slump, I immediately open up my journal and write.
With my little black book which is my journal, I decided to ditch the planner since I wasn’t even planning. For almost a year, I’ve actually been on and off with planning.
A planner worked while I was still in school which is why the planner I had during that time lasted long and all the pages got used up.
When I was out of school, a planner didn’t work for me anymore but I didn’t realise it until now, after going through several planners and constantly starting new ones with new ways of planning.
It wasn’t the way of planning that was the problem. It was because a planner wasn’t necessary. I don’t have so much going on in my life to need an organised planner.
With journaling, I could still have some form of planning but won’t be forcing myself to plan the unnecessary just to have everyday of the week decorated and filled up on the planner.
The journal consist mostly paragraphs of what I do, my thoughts and feelings. In between these, sometimes I make plans and lists. With all my thoughts and feelings written down, I don’t overthink about all my other problems which are also what causes the depressive slumps.
By scribbling, it helps with the perfectionism bad habit that I’ve been wanting to get rid. I sometimes do get frustrated when something is not aligned or when the colours of my decorations don’t match in my neatly decorated planner. Now that I’m no longer concerned by the neatness, alignment and decorations, I’m not frustrated at all when I write in my journal.
A snippet of my very first journal entry, my first words in the journal. I started off the entry with a neater handwriting but as I wrote more and more, my handwriting became less tidy and every line isn’t aligned.
Although I’ve ditched my planner for a journal and I’m planning together with journaling, that doesn’t mean I’ll never go back to a planner. If my lifestyle becomes hectic and a full fledge planner becomes necessary to stay organized, I’ll definitely go back to it. For now, a journal shall suffice.